Happy New Year! Keep calm and eat cupcakes!

Here we go again! We are back at the start of another exciting year ahead. I am so looking forward to 2015 - it's the year where my resolution is to read more books, travel to more places and eat healthier meals!

Last year was hectic for me. I suppressed my need to travel to the very least. Anand and I took a short one-day breakaway to Malacca after my maternity leave and we also went to Genting Highlands with my mother-in-law and our daughter, Anooushka. That was it! Just two trips. Why?

Deciding to travel in a year filled with air disasters, natural catastrophe and wide-spread diseases was certainly difficult. What more, with a baby at hand whose immune system was still maturing - we did not want to take the risk. (Well, to be fair, Anand did suggest a trip to Bali for my birthday. But I just can't seem to comprehend what is there in Bali that everyone raves about. I just can't bring myself to even try to look the pictures online.)

So this is it. This IS the year for TRAVEL. Keeping fingers crossed :)

The new year's eve was at a cousin's place. They got a new house with a cool pool. It was a great get together with all those far and near and dear. I decided to be extra hardworking (ok Anand had to help though) and made cupcakes for the party (plus for my neighbours!).

Surprisingly the treats turned out well on that day and I loved how my cupcakes swirls behaved! I made my mocha cupcake + espresso buttercream and vanilla cupcakes + vanilla buttercream + rainbow sprinkles. 

My cupcakes nicely boxed and fresh from the fridge.

Just a few weeks back, I also did peanut butter cupcake + peanut butter buttercream + homemade strawberry jam filling. It was just heavenly...

Follow me on my Instagram for my next cupcake adventure!

Waiting for something

When you want something, it's just hard to wait. But if it's good, you know it will be worth it. And only some things are worth the wait.

Anyway, I got promoted at work! It definitely took a lot of hard work to get this far but I know my work is not done. More things to look forward to and I am definitely waiting for the training that I have been dying to get enrolled for almost 3 years now!

This past year I know I have been making a lot of decisions - in life especially. I have been accepting huge risks and putting my relationships with few people at stake with my decisions. It was never easy for me. I never had to be in such situations before. After all, "everyone" wants to protect me. Hehe...

But it only took one death to teach me how important it is to appreciate and live my life. Made a mistake? Repair. Irreparable? Then leave it - move on. Just don't waste your time. I learned to accept that we can't make everyone happy.

Every time I sense someone tries to stop me from doing something, I only think about the day I decided to go against my dad's words and took Sathyan with me to Singapore. A decision that until today I am glad I made.

And with that in mind, I have never regretted any of the decisions I have made. In fact, I'm glad I took certain turns in my life because it finally brought me home.

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming... home.

- Coming Home

A lost home

I've been wanting to write about this a long time.

Today, after almost 3 years being "homeless", I finally got myself a temporary wardrobe. It's nothing too spectacular, just a self-assembled wardrobe with non-woven cover. 

And I used to have a home with built-in wardrobe large enough for all my things. 

I get really sad when I think about this. I built a home, a nice one, I got everything I needed, it was a complete home and I thought I have settled down. Little did I know, that was not the case. I had to move back with my parents despite still having a house on my own. I had to move all my things back to my parents temporary home and put up in a 100 square feet area - my current room. I had to "borrow" my mom's wardrobe to keep part of my clothes. And often it is also had to be shared with my younger sister - which leads to another dilemma - our clothes are getting mixed up.

At my age, I am yearning for independence and my own space. It would not have made a difference if I have been this way all the time. But I was not. I had my own space. My own place to keep things. My own kitchen. My own TV. My own life.

People around me are treating me as if my life just ended - and that I have no future. I don't know how long would it take for these same people to realize that what I have lost is love - not my self or my mind. I still have every bit of myself with me and my sanity is still in check. I still have a life to live and move on until it is my time to greet Sathyan on the other side. Until then, my life is running - nothing else has stopped. 

But then, the "community talk" kicks in and starts another whirlpool of problems. There seems to be something utterly wrong for a single woman to stay on her own and be by herself. Every single man she befriends after a certain age or time is being evaluated. Someone always wants to take control of her :) Pointing what is right or wrong by their own definition and expects the woman to obey it. And it often comes from a person who doesn't have control over his/her life. 

Yes there are immature single women out there, but anyone who knows me well would be intelligent enough to know I am not one of them, and would be smart enough to fend of any "talks" saying I don't know what I am doing. I am a person with my own principles and I know what I want in my life. If I make a mistake - it's a lesson learned for me and I take responsibility for it. I don't remember blaming anyone for things that do go wrong in my life. More often, good or bad - I get with it, instead of blaming every single living soul around me for every single thing that goes wrong. 

Going back to my wardrobe - it does minimize the already minimum space I have been allocated with. But, I have no choice - I need it and this should do. For now. 

At least until someone decides to adopt me, and give me a new a home. :) I do sound like a puppy abandoned on the streets, don't I?

Sometimes, that's how I feel.

How it has been this week

I should have listened to my inner voice that kept urging me to stay away from sick people in my office. I should have. 

Should have.

On Thursday, I started getting the symptoms - irritated nose and upper mouth and sore throat. Great, signs of me falling sick. It got worse on Friday, and yet I decided to go to work. On my way to work, one of my tires got punctured while I was on the highway! Somehow I was glad I wasn't speeding.

I was already disgruntled with the fact I was sick, and it was hot. What else could make the situation worse? Punctured tire in the middle of highway? With runny nose as well. I moved to the side of the road and parked my car - true enough one tire decided to fail on me on a Friday, for heaven's sake!

I took out my spare tire - which was at least in good working condition - and the tools to change the tire. I kept telling to myself, lefty loosie righty tighty (something that Sathyan taught me, of course) as I loosened the bolts and moved to jack the car. That was when three men approached me, to lend me a hand. I was wary of course, but none of them looked suspicious though. Besides, there's nothing to take away from me except my car - which I don't think even a scrap metal trader would want to have.

Anyway, this 3 wonderful Malaysians helped me to get my tire changed. How many Malaysian men does it take to change a tire? Three!! I am indeed grateful. I knew someone has always been watching over me. :)

The lunch on Friday was a special one. Puspa and I decided to try the Briyani at Veloo Villas with their kurma curry - we were left speechless. The taste was indescribable. Top it off with our usual payasam- it was the perfect lunch treat. I'm sure Sathyan would have jumped in joy the moment I offered him Briyani :) The folks at Veloo Villas told us that they only remembered they have payasam the moment Puspa and I stepped into the restaurant. Such huge fans of payasam we are, yes..yes..

My sickness got worse on Saturday - I felt like dying, to put it bluntly. I even thought, if I were to die that would be a good thing anyhow - I get to see Sathyan. Then something knocked my head and told me to get back to reality. Sheesh...

I was definitely grumpy because I felt so useless. 

I depended solely on my bion3 to salvage my body from the virus attack that was going on. I am happy to report that today I feel heaps better. So much better that I managed to get my tire fixed - two new Falken tires and Buster feels good!

Back to work tomorrow :)