Happy New Year! Keep calm and eat cupcakes!

Here we go again! We are back at the start of another exciting year ahead. I am so looking forward to 2015 - it's the year where my resolution is to read more books, travel to more places and eat healthier meals!

Last year was hectic for me. I suppressed my need to travel to the very least. Anand and I took a short one-day breakaway to Malacca after my maternity leave and we also went to Genting Highlands with my mother-in-law and our daughter, Anooushka. That was it! Just two trips. Why?

Deciding to travel in a year filled with air disasters, natural catastrophe and wide-spread diseases was certainly difficult. What more, with a baby at hand whose immune system was still maturing - we did not want to take the risk. (Well, to be fair, Anand did suggest a trip to Bali for my birthday. But I just can't seem to comprehend what is there in Bali that everyone raves about. I just can't bring myself to even try to look the pictures online.)

So this is it. This IS the year for TRAVEL. Keeping fingers crossed :)

The new year's eve was at a cousin's place. They got a new house with a cool pool. It was a great get together with all those far and near and dear. I decided to be extra hardworking (ok Anand had to help though) and made cupcakes for the party (plus for my neighbours!).

Surprisingly the treats turned out well on that day and I loved how my cupcakes swirls behaved! I made my mocha cupcake + espresso buttercream and vanilla cupcakes + vanilla buttercream + rainbow sprinkles. 

My cupcakes nicely boxed and fresh from the fridge.

Just a few weeks back, I also did peanut butter cupcake + peanut butter buttercream + homemade strawberry jam filling. It was just heavenly...

Follow me on my Instagram for my next cupcake adventure!

Giving a head start

My girl has spent almost every day of her life with only 3 people. My mother-in-law, my husband and myself. Every other people are just hi-bye. It got me really worried because I feel she started losing out on social life.

Her cousins are way back in Penang whom she only got to meet once. Lack of interaction with people has made my girl lose out a bit on social communication and that kept ringing alarms in my head every night.

I have heard a lot about baby playgroups and baby gyms. Most of these places take babies as young as 6 months old. Some even start out earlier - 3 months, or even earlier. I wasn't too keen enrolling my baby at such a young age given the fact she hardly has her immune built. I can't be spending every week taking care of a sick baby, can I? :P

As my baby approached her 9-month old birthday, I started scouting around for a good playgroup for her. Gymboree and Kindermusik were to choices that I had which was within my budget. I had my own reasons why I narrowed down to only 2 options. There are aplenty of options out there, which are either too expensive for me or too exhaustive for the baby. And I don't want to be the kiasu mother wanting her baby's right brain developed more than the left brain. I wanted normal development :)

So, after discussing with my husband, I scheduled for trial classes with Kindermusik and Gymboree. 

Kindermusik trial was ok. I went to the centers's HQ at PJ, somewhat near the SS2 mall and not too far from my own office. Location wise, the place is within reach on weekends. For weekdays, forget it. I know how terrible the traffic is. The center was at triple-storey (I think) shop-lot. After registration, a lady escorted us to a room few floors up. Since Baby Ma is less than 18 months old, she can only enrol in a program called Kindermusik Village. There were 3 other registered babies and 2 babies on trial pass. The class concentrates on singing, dancing and playing with different instruments suitable for the babies. 

My verdict, it was just ok. I did not enjoy the class. Although my baby was actively crawling around, she was just curious. There is nothing much that she can do. I sing quite badly, and my dance moves are equally terrible, so it wasn't really a good start for me. The choice of activities are just about music, and teacher guides parents on ways to bond with their child. The entire class duration was 45 minutes. What I liked about the class was the size - it was at a manageable size, closed environment. What I didn't like was how judgemental the teacher was towards my baby. She did not make an effort to find out how old she is and assumed she is a toddler - and was giving out comments or remarks that did not make me feel my baby was in right hands.

Kindermusik classes goes by semesters. Each semester consists of 8 classes, and you pay by semester. You can't replace missed classes. This was a setback for me, because sometime, I travel or have to attend some functions - if I can't replace missed classes, it's a big turnoff for me. Fees are around the region of 500++ per semester which includes some materials (book, CDs), course fee and registration fee.

Next was Gymboree trial class which we attended today at Bangsar Village. We eventually signed up for this. The classes consists of play, music and arts (they also have yoga and sports but not for my baby's age group). Each of the class are split into several levels based on the baby's age. For my baby's age (at 10 months old) she was enrolled in the Level 3 play class for the trial. I particularly liked this, because she gets to mingle with kids of her own age group. How do you expect a 10-month-old to talk to a 3-month-old? So the levels are really good to start with. The class size was quite big (around 9-10 kids were there). But I was told there is a limit to the size (15?) 

There were lots of activities areas for babies in the play class, Every 2 weeks the theme changes so that the kids have something new to learn. I don't know yet whether the themes get repeated, but it's a good thing the environment gets a fresh boost every now and then. There were 2 packages available for us - Package A for 12 consecutive classes of one type of class which was worth RM1000 inclusive annual membership fees. Package B consists of 48 classes that cost us RM2.8k. We were given extra 4 classes for using HSBC card making the total number classes to 52 - which are valid for a year and we can mix and match play, music and arts classes. Additional 10 playgym vouchers were given as well. Honestly, this was much cheaper than Kindermusik option.

Class verdict, my baby loved it as much as I did. There were plenty of babies of the same age group, parents who are at the same boat as I am and there were good amount of activity areas for babies. The teachers are attentive, trying very best to spend time with all the kids. The environment seems to foster more active communication and even from day 1, I can see my baby trying to "communicate" tots around. It was amusing. :)

When I was a kid, I never really had these exposure. But I'm sure my parents would have given it to me if only it was available then. The amount of money spent is not cheap. I used to open my mouth wide when people tell me their kids daycare or kindergarten fees comes up to 300++ per month for their 4-year-olds. Well, I just invested into something worth 200++/month for my child - all in the hope it gives her a good childhood head start. Am I going over the board? Naah... this is the best that my husband and I can give...for now... :) 

The sinful bliss!

Baking, oh baking! How much I missed baking!

Anand finally transported my oven back from Penang. I now have a proper oven that I can use to bake for him! Armed with couple of baking books Anand gave me last year as gifts, I set out to accomplish the first mission - chocolate brownie, just because I didn't have a cupcake pan. My version had cherries and white chocolate in it! :)

The finished product tasted so good and it tasted even better with ice cream.

Then the next mission was to bake cupcakes. The cupcake book had a recipe for vanilla-flavored watermelon cupcake. Right out of the oven, after cooling and frosting, the cake tasted good. But after keeping it in the fridge overnight, it tasted even better! I can't even begin to believe I baked those cupcakes.

My third attempt was red velvet cupcake. The cupcake turned out well for a first timer but the cream cheese frosting was a disaster. There were various techniques out there and so happens the one I used crashed my dreams of sinking my teeth into the nice velvety cake I baked on the same day. The entire night I researched, trying to find where I went wrong. I attempted to get my cream cheese right and my second attempt went ace!

Now, 4th mission in planning...

Nothing but the best

The fact I didn't have the time to post any new blog updates is enough to show I have plenty of drama and action going on in my life. Where to begin..

My project at work that I have been working on for more than a year now is almost near completion. Yes, that means I am busy with the project rollout. I am particularly proud of this project because it has given me the exposure and experience that I never imagine getting. I feel proud to be part of the core team member to produce an in-house built CRM application for an international bank. 

The new software system will be rollout to all branches in Malaysia this coming week. And I have been as busy as bee getting the managers from every branch trained. I'm their new best friend :)

Moving on, being mother myself made me realise a lot of things. I know people who often complain their parents did not do enough for them when they were younger so they wanted to give their own kids what they never had. True, we often want to give our kids what our parents didn't give us. But what we didn't realise was, our parents actually gave us things that their parents didn't give them. Makes sense?

And along the struggle to give the children what we never had, we work hard to ensure what they are getting is the best. As parents, that's what we do. Our children to have the best of clothes, toys, feeding bottles, and the list goes on. I am definitely one of them. But, the best comes with a price. And instead of giving the best to kids, we most often give the best that we know and we could afford. Going by the same principle, I'm sure our parents have done the same.

Why I am suddenly talking about this? I finally realised my parents has done the best for me at their best capacity. I used to wonder why I didn't get the same funky toy as the girl at the kindergarten did. Or why am I walking to school. Why I have to exhaust my school bag to the point of tearing apart before getting new one. Why I had to use a huge cardboard box as my study table for many years before finally getting a proper one at 13. Why I had to settle for things that is not brand new. 

Why? Because my parents acted on their best capacity based on their best knowledge of my needs. I have to trust they have given me the best. In fact they did and I'm happy they didn't choose to abandon me somewhere but instead decided to raise me with all they had. I'm glad I grew up healthy, with proper food and clothings and most importantly, I was given education - something that some parents at that time deemed unnecessary. 

I do a lot of research before getting something for my daughter. Like every other parent out there, I want her to have the best too. But the best is limited to what I can afford. Her clothes, her toys even her play mat is carefully chosen. As a baby, her very survival is dependent on me. This made me appreciate my parents even more. How they took on the responsibility to care for not one but three kids. It's just amazing. Of course I do feel at times the care and love given is lopsided which I aim not to repeat with my own children but the fact they fulfilled my basic necessities and aided my growth all these years is commendable. 

But there will always be people out there who will complain that their parents did not do enough for them and they had to work their way up. I find it amusing. Unless the person is orphaned or grew up at a welfare home (or even alone), there's no such thing your parents did not do anything. No one in this world had a perfect childhood and one can never have enough of everything. Likewise, no one can give everything for their kids despite the intention to do so. Our parents was in the same boat as well. And they didn't have Google at that time, yet they did their best to find out what's best for us.

A new experience

My husband always tells me that I look beautiful without make-up. He feels I don't need to put on make-up. For him, I looked perfect. But then, I know I don't :P

I don't know whether anyone would classify wearing lipstick counts as putting on make-up. If it does, then that's as far I know about looking beautiful. Honestly. I have tried few times to practice wearing more than just lipstick. YouTube has been my sole reference, but somehow I always end up looking uglier.

So, for a very long time I wanted to learn the right way to put on some simple make-up. In fact, I've been wanting to take a class for it - since 2007. Finally, I made use of a Groupon offer for a 2-day personal make-up workshop for RM59. 

The workshop was conducted at Celmonze Aesthetic Academy which is located in Damansara Utama (near Uptown). My classes took place over the weekend, which was yesterday and today. What did the classes cover?

First day of the class, the workshop covered personality analysis and finding your color tone. This followed by step-by-step hands-on techniques on applying day make-up. All make-up products were provided and we were given the option to purchase make-up brush set for RM28 or use one of the sets they already have. I decided to purchase one since I do not own any :)

My day make-up was not impressive of course - given this is the first time I tried my hands applying my own make-up. The eyeshadow was horrible, my foundation was uneven and my eyeliner was a disaster! But, I learned a lot. And I know, putting on make-up is an art on its own, so I had to practice!

On 2nd day, we did a revision of the day make-up that we learned from day 1. I looked better :). This was followed by night make-up tutorial where the instructor taught us on smokey eye effect. Finally, we finished off the session with a hair-do tutorial - which I failed miserably. I just can't seem to get my hair to curl!

I took away a good experience from the workshop. I also made new friends which I felt was a good point of the overall experience. I learned how to use the different brushes, and picked up some basic knowledge on types of cosmetics available. Now, all I need is to practice, practice, practice!

For the price I paid to attend the course, I think it was well worth it. I wouldn't have paid anything more, because the course is really very basic. I think I should invest spending some time more workshop such as this - it opens up opportunity for me to meet new people and make new friends. 

The last lap

Few more weeks left!

One of my colleagues asked me two days back, how I am feeling now that my delivery date is getting near. Am I feeling nervous? Stressed?

This got me thinking. I wasn't really worried about this whole experience of being a parent. It was more like is everything there for my baby? Is the world ready to see my baby? :)

I would definitely attribute my calmness and preparedness to Anand - the backbone of my journey. He has been there from the start and now we're taking the final lap together to put things together to welcome our baby. 

Two weekends ago we went to SOGO to purchase some basic baby clothes. It was really tempting to get all the nice clothes but then, we didn't. We felt basic baby clothes were enough, along with some cloth napkins. Anand got for me a homecoming blouse while we were there. Hehe... 

The following weekend we went to IKEA. There we decided to get more of the basic items we needed for the baby's arrival. The challenge was getting something that does not limit to only baby's use. So, after a lot of thinking and deciding, also while keeping to a tight budget, we managed to get everything else that we needed. This was the tiring part.

But it was worth it. Seeing our little one's face, sucking fingers in a 4D scan. Sharing the little one's face with our parents. Seeing my tummy move up and down with every kick and stretch.

Few more weeks and then the waiting game starts :)

Waiting for something

When you want something, it's just hard to wait. But if it's good, you know it will be worth it. And only some things are worth the wait.

Anyway, I got promoted at work! It definitely took a lot of hard work to get this far but I know my work is not done. More things to look forward to and I am definitely waiting for the training that I have been dying to get enrolled for almost 3 years now!

This past year I know I have been making a lot of decisions - in life especially. I have been accepting huge risks and putting my relationships with few people at stake with my decisions. It was never easy for me. I never had to be in such situations before. After all, "everyone" wants to protect me. Hehe...

But it only took one death to teach me how important it is to appreciate and live my life. Made a mistake? Repair. Irreparable? Then leave it - move on. Just don't waste your time. I learned to accept that we can't make everyone happy.

Every time I sense someone tries to stop me from doing something, I only think about the day I decided to go against my dad's words and took Sathyan with me to Singapore. A decision that until today I am glad I made.

And with that in mind, I have never regretted any of the decisions I have made. In fact, I'm glad I took certain turns in my life because it finally brought me home.

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming... home.

- Coming Home

Being Grateful

I have so much of things to be grateful for. Every person's journey is different and I don't think I am in a position to write whether I went through the worst or the better - compared to the rest I know. Somehow, I am sure there are people with different problems to deal with. No one's problem is small or big - our paths are different - that's all.

I have decided to start something new with my blog. I would create a label called "grateful" and the whole idea is to label posts that talks about things I am grateful about. It can be something really small - yet I am thankful.

The idea hit me today while I was driving back home (as usual great things come to me when I'm trying to not to speed). It was raining very heavily today and the clouds were dark - it was 4.30pm but was almost as dark as 7.30pm. The visibility on the highway was reduced to a mere 100-150 meters and most cars were going slowly - around 80-90km/h. 

I was very careful but I would say it was needless. Why? Because my car was that stable! Honestly, it was totally a different experience for me. A short flashback hit me then. I recalled the time when I had to endure massive downpours on highways, being splashed by heavy trucks passing by on the opposite or side lane, and keep both my hands locked on my steering wheel to avoid the car from skidding. Imagine how fragile the car was!

Today, despite the heavy downpour and low visibility, I was able to travel at a reasonable speed and the only difference I felt compared to driving during non-rainy days was the swiping wiper - which did its job quietly by the way. 

And that's about it. 

I am very grateful for being able to own a good, safe car. In spite of some remarks some may have thrown unto me for getting a new car, I'm glad I have moved past the fear and invested in something that will keep me alive while I'm on the road. I am extremely grateful :)

Purple and White

All I needed to make my day today. Very, very beautiful flowers and very thoughtful indeed. I have been feeling under the weather this past few days and a bunch of fresh flowers brightened up my day

Travel + Photography + Gorilla Pod

Inspiration!

24.08.2012

Something to keep you looking up

Inspiration

When you are walking in a dark place, where there is nothing you can see or have a clue where you're heading to - a torch light would help, wouldn't it?

I call that inspiration. 

A source of light that provides you a sense of direction. It may or may not point you towards the right path, because where you are heading lies within the decisions you make. But the torch light lets you see clearly where you're going. And it will stay with you - it wouldn't decide to suddenly stop working just because you took a path the torch light did not like. Would it? :)

A year back, everything was bleak for me. I was so sure I wouldn't make it through the next one year alive. I am not weak - I just didn't see the purpose why I should even be alive. When life goes out of plan, most of us surrender. When you're older, it gets much tougher to change things around you and start over - most things are almost settled down and in my case, I've settled down at a much younger age. It was difficult and no one really understood the struggle I was against at. 

"The hardest part of the ending, is starting again." - Waiting for the End, Linkin Park.

I was walking in the dark with no sense of belonging and purpose. From the outside I knew I looked fine. For everyone. But from the inside, I knew that wasn't the case. The worst part? I didn't even know my problem was the loss of purpose in my life until my friend came along and pointed to me - find yourself back. She was right, I had to find myself back but how?

I needed inspiration and encouragement, and a jolt of motivation. With my best friend's help, I saw a light pointing me to a direction, picked up pace and built my confidence. But to move on further in life, you need more than that. I needed more than that. 

There has to be a solid pillar, that I can hold on to and feel safe. And at times, it turns into a torch light that stays with me showing me the way when I needed it.

I am lucky to have found my torch light.