Six Days

At the starting of the week

At summit talks you'll hear them speak

It's only Monday

Negotiations breaking down

See those leaders start to frown

It's sword and gun day

Tomorrow never comes until it's too late

You could be sitting taking lunch

The news will hit you like a punch

It's only Tuesday

You never thought we'd go to war

After all the things we saw

It's April Fools' day

Tomorrow never comes until it's too late

You hear a whistling overhead

Are you alive or are you dead?

It's only Thursday

You feel the shaking on the ground

A million candles burn around

Is it your birthday?

Tomorrow never comes until it's too late

Waiting for something

When you want something, it's just hard to wait. But if it's good, you know it will be worth it. And only some things are worth the wait.

Anyway, I got promoted at work! It definitely took a lot of hard work to get this far but I know my work is not done. More things to look forward to and I am definitely waiting for the training that I have been dying to get enrolled for almost 3 years now!

This past year I know I have been making a lot of decisions - in life especially. I have been accepting huge risks and putting my relationships with few people at stake with my decisions. It was never easy for me. I never had to be in such situations before. After all, "everyone" wants to protect me. Hehe...

But it only took one death to teach me how important it is to appreciate and live my life. Made a mistake? Repair. Irreparable? Then leave it - move on. Just don't waste your time. I learned to accept that we can't make everyone happy.

Every time I sense someone tries to stop me from doing something, I only think about the day I decided to go against my dad's words and took Sathyan with me to Singapore. A decision that until today I am glad I made.

And with that in mind, I have never regretted any of the decisions I have made. In fact, I'm glad I took certain turns in my life because it finally brought me home.

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming... home.

- Coming Home

Days by the Drums

Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

O simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

O simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

If you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know

Somewhere only we know

O simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

If you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know

Somewhere only we know..

- Keane

A letter

I remember the time when you had to go to US and leave me here, alone, for two weeks. It felt terrible.

Sending you off at the airport, I held on to you so tight. Our friends left us to give us some time alone. And I remember I cried. I just don't know how I could be away from you for so long. And I knew, you felt the same too. I remember you were wearing the shirt I bought you. You loved that shirt, so much.

The moment you walked away, I was already missing you. And I stood there, for a good 5 minutes.

I stayed awake almost 24 hours, just wanting to make sure you arrived safely. You called me along the way, emailed me, and kept me updated during your stops. For the first time, I had to wake up not having you beside me. I had to eat alone, go to work alone. It was really awful.

I'd stay awake every night, just to chat with you. Each time you appeared on the video call, I would cry. I knew you'll be back soon. I remember you were telling it was really cold and the sound of the train passing by shocked you on your first day there. You had your lunch at Hard Rock cafe and sent me a picture. My favorite picture of all time.

As days passed, I realized how much you have impacted my life that it felt lifeless without you. There were times I would be too tired to stay awake. When that happens, you often watch me fall asleep in front you. I was counting the days to be with you again. At that time, I knew you'd be back. The date and the time - it was recorded in my brain.

One day, as I opened my email, you sent me a link for a song clip. Today, when I listened to that song, it reminded me of the torture you and I went through for that brief 2 weeks. Yes, it felt like years at that time, but now I can see it was a brief 14 days. I remember the day you returned, and my whole world became colorful again. I remember hugging you so tight not wanting to let you go. And I remember you cried. You just couldn't wait to get back home, to show me all the things you bought for me. And all the pictures you took.

And now, you're gone again. But this time, you have decided not to keep me updated on your trip. And I don't even know where you are now. You never told when you will be back. There is no way I could see your face again. Cancer may have killed you. 

Loneliness is killing me.

Na na naaa

Happy New Year!!

There's a place that I go, that nobody knows
Where the rivers flow, and I call it home
And there's no more lies, and the darkness is light
And nobody cries, there's only butterflies

Take me away
A secret place
A sweet escape
Take me away
Take me away
To better days
Take me away
A hiding place

The sun is on my side
It takes me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be all right :)

Remembering Sathyan

I often find it hard to explain the kind of relationship Sathyan and I shared. Simple words just doesn't do the justice. And then came this song. Which explained oh-so-perfectly the depth of our beautiful relationship. When I listened and tried to absorb the meaning of each line, only one person comes to my mind - Sathyan :)

Last night, he came to visit me :) Sigh... such a wonderful husband - he knows exactly when I needed him.

This song is my perfect dedication to my love. In a week's time, it's his 33rd birthday and our 4th year wedding anniversary. Happy Birthday Pa and Happy Anniversary :)

பிறை தேடும் இரவிலே உயிரே
எதை தேடி அலைகிறாய்
கதை சொல்ல அழைக்கிறேன் உயிரே
அன்பே நீ வா

பிறை தேடும் இரவிலே உயிரே
எதை தேடி அலைகிறாய்
கதை சொல்ல அழைக்கிறேன் உயிரே
அன்பே நீ வா

இருளில் கண்ணீரும் எதற்கு..
மடியில் கண்மூட வா..
அழகே இந்த சோகம் எதற்கு..
நான் உன் தாயும் அல்லவா..

உனக்கென மட்டும் வாழும் இதயமடி
உயிர் உள்ள வரை நான் உன் அடிமையடி

பிறை தேடும் இரவிலே உயிரே
எதை தேடி அலைகிறாய்
கதை சொல்ல அழைக்கிறேன் உயிரே
அன்பே நீ வா

அழுதால் உன் பார்வையும்
அயந்தால் உன் கால்களும்
அதிகாலையில் கூடலில் சோகம் தீர்க்கும் போதுமா
நிழல் தேடிடும் ஆண்மையும்
நிஜம் தேடிடும் பெண்மையும்
ஒரு போர்வையில் வாழும் இன்பம்
தெய்வம் தந்த சொந்தமா
என் ஆழுள் ரேகை நீயடி என் ஆணி வேரடி
சுமை தாங்கும் எந்தன் கண்மணி
எனை சுடும் பணி..

உனக்கென மட்டும் வாழும் இதயமடி
உயிர் உள்ள வரை நான் உன் அடிமையடி

பிறை தேடும் இரவிலே உயிரே
எதை தேடி அலைகிறாய்
கதை சொல்ல அழைக்கிறேன் உயிரே
அன்பே நீ வா..

விழியின் அந்த தேடலும்
அலையும் உந்தன் நெஞ்சமும்
புரிந்தாலே போதுமே ஏழு ஜென்மம் தாங்குவேன்
அனல் மேலே வாழ்கிறாய்
நதி போலே பாய்கிறாய்
ஒரு காரணம் இல்லையே மீசை வைத்த பிள்ளையே
இதை காதல் என்று சொல்வதா?
நிழல் காய்ந்து கொள்வதா
தினம் கொள்ளும் இந்த பூமியில்,
நீ வரும் வரும் இடம்..

Mayakkam Enna? (Why Dizzy?)

So aptly titled. Well you will go dizzy for sure after watching this movie. It is so full of twists!

[SPOILER ALERT!] :)

First of all, let me warn you - what follows next may contain spoiler bits, so if you're planning to catch this movie this weekend, stop reading and go do something else. And come back some other day when you think you've finally finished watching the movie. There you go spoiler #1 - it really is a movie that felt it took days for me to finish watching. Of course it was for only three hours. It just felt that long - days long. So long that at one point I thought the movie ended - but it was just the intermission. Even Lord Of the Rings didn't feel this long!

Ok, moving on to why I decided to watch the movie. I am such a choosy person when it comes to movie. When I spend money for entertainment, it has to be worth it - worth my money and my time. So there must be some form of ROI involved. This movie is about an aspiring photographer, how he met his wife and how the two of them - as husband and wife - stood through the test of time.

What I liked about this movie is the visuals. It's exactly like viewing from the camera's viewfinder. For me, the world looks surprisingly different from a camera's viewfinder, so this movie can definitely show you how that world looks like :)

Secondly, the movie somehow reminds me of my relationship with Sathyan. :) Of course, minus the physical abuse and drinking habits and the violence and verbal abuse. There you go, spoiler alert #2. There is this one song in the movie that shows what kind of things a photographer's wife would do (or rather had to do) and I just couldn't stop smiling.

Also, the movie portrayed how crazy we photographers are! Yes, you want to know how crazy we can get? Watch this movie and find out. The first part of the movie was really entertaining - very funny! Especially the first song - voda voda voda :)

Alright, moving to what I didn't find quite amusing - the second part of the movie is quite eerie. Suddenly it turned to something sad and scary. And a lot of things started not to make sense. I felt the director was trying to imply that even if your husband abuses - physically or emotionally - you still have to be this good wife who had to endure everything and stay in marriage. I'm totally against this - I don't think anyone should withstand abuse in any form. The movie went on to show that if you stay long enough good thing will happen. 

Yes, in the movie world, not in mortal world like ours. People will never change, they are what they are and that's how it is. Suck it up and deal with it rationally. If you have always been afraid of cockroaches, you will always be afraid of cockroaches. Do you think one day you will wake up and find out suddenly you are no longer scared of those damn, good-for-nothing God's creation? I'm sure you will not. Well, I won't for sure. So there, spoiler #3 - Leena hates cockroaches. :)

Overall, the ending was heartwarming. My advice is, if you plan to catch this movie (in case you're still reading despite the warnings), do it at the cinema. The reason is simple - you will never watch it in full from a DVD - you'd be too tempted to fast forward. Haha :)

Next on my list, Nanban! :)

Introducing my Senshie

An unexpected birthday gift from a friend - Sennheiser HD229. Well, it's about time I upgraded my current earphones and this headphone came as a savior!

I named it Senshie. Loving it very, very much :)

Iridescent

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.

- Linkin Park

Today My Life Begins

Catchy tunes

Ever had one of those moments where the song just does not want to leave your brain? It just sits there, playing and rewinding, then playing again. It seems like the first thing that comes to your mind when you wake up is not what day it is, but why-is-this-song-still-playing-in-my-head realization?

I had such instances lately, and not surprisingly, my CD player in the car loops the same song when I go to work - that's 45 minutes of the same song playing over and over again! Can someone enlighten me why such phenomenon (if that's the right word for it) occurs to human alone?

The current song that is stuck in my head: Chammak Challo! And there are so many versions of it! I wonder who is the choreographer for its video.