A letter

I remember the time when you had to go to US and leave me here, alone, for two weeks. It felt terrible.

Sending you off at the airport, I held on to you so tight. Our friends left us to give us some time alone. And I remember I cried. I just don't know how I could be away from you for so long. And I knew, you felt the same too. I remember you were wearing the shirt I bought you. You loved that shirt, so much.

The moment you walked away, I was already missing you. And I stood there, for a good 5 minutes.

I stayed awake almost 24 hours, just wanting to make sure you arrived safely. You called me along the way, emailed me, and kept me updated during your stops. For the first time, I had to wake up not having you beside me. I had to eat alone, go to work alone. It was really awful.

I'd stay awake every night, just to chat with you. Each time you appeared on the video call, I would cry. I knew you'll be back soon. I remember you were telling it was really cold and the sound of the train passing by shocked you on your first day there. You had your lunch at Hard Rock cafe and sent me a picture. My favorite picture of all time.

As days passed, I realized how much you have impacted my life that it felt lifeless without you. There were times I would be too tired to stay awake. When that happens, you often watch me fall asleep in front you. I was counting the days to be with you again. At that time, I knew you'd be back. The date and the time - it was recorded in my brain.

One day, as I opened my email, you sent me a link for a song clip. Today, when I listened to that song, it reminded me of the torture you and I went through for that brief 2 weeks. Yes, it felt like years at that time, but now I can see it was a brief 14 days. I remember the day you returned, and my whole world became colorful again. I remember hugging you so tight not wanting to let you go. And I remember you cried. You just couldn't wait to get back home, to show me all the things you bought for me. And all the pictures you took.

And now, you're gone again. But this time, you have decided not to keep me updated on your trip. And I don't even know where you are now. You never told when you will be back. There is no way I could see your face again. Cancer may have killed you. 

Loneliness is killing me.

And the search ended

In 2004, when I bought Buster I announced it to the whole world through this blog. At that time, I was determined to get a new car by the time I'm done with the loan service. My target was 7 years. It got delayed by 1 year for obvious reasons...

I did not test drive Buster and neither did I know how much I would be spending for its maintenance and fuel. I sat down in the show unit model and felt, ok, I fit. I wanted blue and everyone else told me to get silver. I wanted my own number, and everyone else told me I don't need one. So, I paid my booking fee, placed the down payment and took Buster back home.

It served me well for eight years. And still does... :)

What I really wanted in a car was the joy of driving it. I spend a lot of time travelling and all unnecessary gadgets or accessories becomes secondary. What I wanted was a car that is a sheer pleasure to drive. Sure enough cars these days comes with attractive gadgets that may give it some edge from one model to another. When I bought Buster, it came with ionizer and a built in cable to charge the then-popular Nokia monochrome phones. Within a year, I realized I have no use for it - but it was indeed an attractive accessory to have as there are cars without it. It was something that I don't need, but paid to have it included.

And that taught me a lesson - why pay for something that you don't need? So when I started looking for a car recently, I kept this in my mind. Get a car that will make you happy every time you touch it. And I found that happiness in my Buster 2.0! :)

After almost a month of waiting, my second car arrived two weeks ago - from Japan.

This time, I got the car that I wanted to buy ever since I was a kid. I would consider this as fulfilling my childhood dream and ambition. Got the car I wanted, the color I wanted and even the number I wanted. Each time I step into my Buster 2.0, I feel a jolt of happiness that runs through my spine and strikes right across my heart and soul. That's how it feels when I sit behind the wheels. :)

Top 5 Applications on my Android

I have a total of four (yes, four) Android devices out of which three are in constant daily use. 

I have two mobile Androids running Gingerbread and Ice Cream, and one tablet running Ice Cream. One more mobile runs Froyo. So here's a list of top 5 application that is a must in all my devices (and these are FREE!).

Feedly

This is my favorite application of all. A news reader with a simple interface and so easy to use. The best part is, it integrates nicely with my Google Reader account. On my tablet, this applications turns my news feed into a magazine-like browsing experience. Highly recommended if you have plenty of reading materials that you follow online.

Million Moments

I had to admit Android's version of Gallery, although not the worse, but isn't the best either. And that is why I love Million Moments - it's yet another application for photos but with ease of use and has a wonderful layout! I just need to create some labels (for example, "food") and every time I take a picture of food (more often I do), I just have to tag the picture with the labels. What the application does, it turns the labels into wonderful "photobook" like gallery.

Any.DO
Having too many things to track is no longer a hassle with Any.DO for me. I add list of things I have to do in this simple little app and it keeps track everything for me, and reminds me when I do forget. I can strike out things I've completely and a shake clears everything done from the screen! The interface is simple, easy and clean. New version includes sync-ing with your Google Tasks. My favorite feature is the phone reminder (keeps track of missed calls and reminds me when I have to return a call).

Dolphin Browser HD
Chrome is one of my favorite software on my PC, but on my Androids Dolphin takes the reign being the best browser for awesome functionality and ease of use (easy for me that is, but it could still be intimidating for those who even think IE is daunting). It's just a browser, but there are so very little browsers out there that works properly on Android platform, so this one takes home my vote for being the best one (crashes less).

StumbleUpon
Given an option, I would want this application to be my #1 favorite app in Google Play. Unfortunately, this is also the most unstable application out there, but then again, I can't live without it. StumbleUpon is something that was discovered by Sathyan on its early days and he always shares a lot of interesting "stumbles" that he stumbles upon. It's one of the apps that I'd recommend to people who messages me, "I'm bored". So, if you're always boring bored and had to do something with your hands in a good way, have this installed, choose your interests and have fun exploring what's out there in the world wide web! :)

So there you have it, now you know what Leena uses on her mobile devices all the time. It is interesting to note that there are people who are keen to find out what application I have installed on my Androids. Of course these are not the only ones I have. Probably when I have more time at hand, I'll try to come up with Top 5 Android games installed on my Androids. 

What today means to me

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing.

:)

Every sunset, has a sunrise

There is one thing I learned -

The world doesn't stop moving just because your world stopped one fine day.

People carry on doing what they do. Yes, they get sad and all depressed looking at you going through a hard time, but really, no one bothers anything else after that. They probably get worried once a while thinking what you'd be up to and doing, but then again really, no one is really bothered.

Losing a love is almost like seeing the world come to a standstill. Time just stops - for you only by the way. The rest around you stop momentarily and look at you and will be kind enough to make the time move a little. But after some time, they too have a life to take care of. That is when you must know, it's time for you to move on. The world doesn't stop, just because yours did.

Pull yourself out of it, or risk being sucked into a timeless depression that brings you no where. I am glad though, that it didn't take long for me to get myself back on track. Looking back at the past year, I am happy  I took several decisions that made my life much more meaningful. I am glad, I did not waste my time by being sad and worried of what people might say.

Of course, there will be those who would say things one way or another. It goes back to yourself which ones you would want to listen and let steep in your heart and mind. Someone who reads my blog regularly sent me an email, suggesting that I should I watch the movie P.S I love you. For a person who had nothing to lose, buying a DVD to watch a recommended movie is not much of an hassle. And so I did.

That movie made me realize it is OK to be happy. It is OK to go for a vacation. It is OK to laugh and do things you love. It is OK to fall in love again. 

The movie also made me realize, that you can get really sad when you find out people around you are actually doing something with their lives while you drag yourself into endless list of whys. Because, like I said, no one is really bothered about anything. No one wants to stick around a cry baby for eternity. Complaining and analyzing why some bad things happen to you is not going to bring any good.

So here I am, being glad for how things turned out. :)

Na na naaa