I wrote this post in my previous blog on November 24th, 2010 at 11.47pm. As I was reading my old posts, I felt this one is worth a re-post. Sometimes, we take things for granted - we often forget that what goes round, comes around too. One of the invaluable experiences I gained while I was staying at the hospital caring for my husband for one and half years was the value of human interactions and emotions. Death was an everyday event. Pain was a common sight. Suffering was the norm. I suddenly recalled about an old man that I met while at the hospital and I remembered I wrote about him.
It's important to know that, you don't have to wait for someone to become bedridden in order to care for them. :) Start with the one you love.
Next to me is a 75-year-old man, bed-ridden because his left leg went through a surgery which required him to be tied to some metal rings. The most he can do is to pull himself up to a sitting position with some help from the metal bars next to his bed.
It's important to know that, you don't have to wait for someone to become bedridden in order to care for them. :) Start with the one you love.
Next to me is a 75-year-old man, bed-ridden because his left leg went through a surgery which required him to be tied to some metal rings. The most he can do is to pull himself up to a sitting position with some help from the metal bars next to his bed.
His children admitted him at the hospital with a maid whom I assume is responsible to be his caregiver. She is supposed to bathe him, feed him, ensure he takes his medicine on time, change his diapers and empty his urinal bottle. Also, I assume she is being paid to attend to his every need (medically) at any time of the day. At least, this is what I understand from the old man.
But what happened? The maid, despite being paid to do what she is supposed to do, wasn't doing her job very well. She scolds the old man, she does her work halfheartedly. As I'm typing this, she was asleep when the old man kept calling her name to help him change diapers. And she shouted at him for disturbing her.
Being bed-ridden is often not by choice. These people, as much as they hated, really do not wish to depend on others for help especially when they are used to do things on their own - like going to the loo. They don't want to wake another person up in the middle of the night just to ask for urinal or a change of diapers. They don't want to wait for someone to feed them and watch the food turn cold right in front of their eyes, with intense hunger pain, and do nothing about it. They really don't want.
But they have no choice. I wish more caregiver could understand this. Though nurses are trained to be patient and careful with their bedridden patients, not all of them are. When my husband was in HDA, there was one particular nurse who would scold him with words that hurt even a normal healthy person. And the worst part was, my husband had a hole in his throat which made him bedridden and also voiceless. He could not even tell me how he was being treated. But at the same ward, there was another nurse who did everything she could to keep my husband comfortable and well-taken care of.
If you are caring for a bedridden patient, then please tell yourself this - the person you are caring for doesn't want to trouble you or anyone else. They hated calling you for help as much as you hated being called for a billion times in a day. But they had no choice. And they are grateful for every little you give to them. These patients are humans too - they have the same amount of emotion and turbulence in their mind as much as you do. Do respect them.
It really saddens me to see bedridden patients who are being treated in inhuman ways. More often they wish to die not because they are sick and bedridden, but it's because they had to depend on someone who don't wish to help them.
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