It's love that heals the wound...

... not time.

This past few months, couple of things taught me very hard lessons. At a time when love was lost, I felt, very intensely, a sense of not belonging to anything. As I tried to "assume" it's just in my mind, I couldn't. The feeling was and is real.

Sadness often gets to the core of myself making me realize how I have failed to acknowledge this feeling earlier. That would have saved a lot of trouble for me. But I think, at times I did try to get the message out to someone close to me. But it all dawned back on me with a huge question mark - what else you want more? My issues are always trival. But I feel, often the small things that matters the most. My concerns are often labelled as "complaints".

I finally realized I was not wrong to feel neglected. These feelings were real, and as a sane person I should work towards acknowledging it and make it clear to myself in order to be content and happy. I just have to overcome the feelings. This brings me back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. What I experienced is just one of the basic things that a human should have to remain as humane as possible.

I once blogged about how not being on anyone's priority list made me realize the magnitude of my loss. It was definitely not easy to accept the hard facts, but it was doable. I had to remain as strong as I used to be and be resilient. I did just that, and got my life back on track. It was lots of work - but achievable.

I made a come back on many things that took a back seat in my life - mainly my career. I have been working hard, very hard to get back what I have lost despite knowing the fact there are obstacles all around me trying to stop the momentum going. Why? Because grief, my dear readers, is often mistaken.

Most people think it will take time. But what they did not know was it is a phase that is unique to everyone. There is no length in grief - it all depends how strong your heart and mind is. And how certain situation makes you better (or worse). There is no schedule for grief and it cannot be predicted when it will end for someone. It can be sooner, or later, or even never. The wave hits you in cycles. And then it will be all up to you - hold on or let go?

As such, those around me expect me to take things slowly, which baffles me. Why should I? What one does not understand is, one death is enough to teach me about life and how it could end fast. Harping on something that cannot be fixed or return is not going to do much good to anything or anyone. A practical way to look at things is by thinking beyond the commonly accepted society's perspective. If there is one thing that Sathyan has taught me, that would be : Life is for living. Don't waste it by being sad or worried.

Don't be sad for yourself and don't be worried about what others may think. This has been the mantra that kept me going. After all, those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."

- Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!