We had an entire lifetime ahead of us and yet God decided to tear us apart. I still find it difficult to accept you are no longer here. No longer here for me.
The image of you being carried out from mortuary, lifeless, cold, pale is still in my mind. How I tried very hard to put on a brave front. Wanted to show you that I'll be strong enough to handle everything. Just in case you were hiding some where playing the fool with me, running some trial run to see how I would persevere the moment when you are no longer around.
But then it was real. It was not a trial run. I lost all sense of time. I was just lost. Today I'm missing you as much as I have always been. It still feels unfair that you were taken away so soon. It hurts so much thinking I could have done more than what I did. The image of you breathing your last breath... And letting go of your life... Our future.... in front of me is still in my head. It haunts me until today. I can never erase the memories.
I know you're watching me all the time. I wish sometimes that you would show up. So that I can cry on your shoulders. How everything was not what it seems.
I still slow down and glance at the hospital where we spent 2 years of our time. Everyday hoping for miracle. You knew it was a death sentence and yet you still fought. That was valuable lesson for me. Nothing is over until it was really over. Till then keep fighting.
Every single day was a blessing wasn't it? We had no dreams of making it big. We had no dreams of being popular. We had no dreams of being rich.
We only had dreams of going back to our home and sleep on our bed. Dreams of taking a walk in the park. Catch a movie or watch sunsets. Even that remained as unattainable dream.
Today marks the third year of my life without you. And I know you are with me.
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